Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Thievery and a Drippy Nose
It was no secret that Old Man Taylor had won the lottery the week before, and he'd happily proclaimed, crazy codger that he was, that he'd never store his riches in the bank. He didn't believe in such unpredictable institutions, not after the great market crashes of the past. So when the two burglars broke into his house one early Sunday morning, shortly after Taylor left for church, they thought for certain that they'd find his fortune ready and waiting to be stolen. Search though they might, however, they discovered nothing in his house but stacks of old magazines, heaps of disgusting used tissues and a bed so hard on the back that it would break the average man's spine after a night's rest. They left, disappointed, a few filched magazines their only prizes... and when Old Man Taylor came home and found his front door broken open, he grabbed three wadded tissues from one of his many garbage bins and removed the $1,000 bills secreted inside. This, he thought, should be enough to cover the damage.