Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Where is he going?

"Pants, check. Shirt, check. Socks, check. Underwear, check. Second set of underwear, check. Fedora, check. Wading boots, check. Trench coat, check. Wallet, check. Possum buddy, check. Novelty foam hand, check. Customized Dora the Explorer backpack, check. Medical note from my father, check. Elongated fingernails, check. Whipping cream, check. Pointed stick, check. Signed photograph of Herman Melville, check. Stupefied pigmy assistant, check. Depraved sense of self-worth, check. Half-finished colouring book that has blood in it for some reason, check. Sixty-two inch flatscreen LCD with optional cup holder, check. Empty tube of toothpaste that I've somehow filled with cooking oil, check. Ancient societal grudge against the Mi'kmaq nation, check. Cellular phone, check. Okay, let's get going!"

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